In love with Edward Cullen or the Twilight phenomenon

little vampire

Yesterday, I went to a local bookstore to buy a birthday present for my daughters friend.

Passing by a display with Twilight-DVDs, I dared to ask the saleslady, if  the “Midnight sun” project by Stephenie Meyer was published  finally. Oh, boy, she even didn´t know Meyer’s first name and how to spell the second one. (This happened in the junior book department of a big german book store chain!). She eyeballed me, asked what´s the age of the targeted reader (hmmm????) and I seriously considered to pretend that I needed it as a present for my daughter.

But I didn’t find it fair to deny my love for Edward Cullen after spending the last three evenings looking into his colourchanging eyes, so I laughed out a bit too loud and admitted,  that Edward’s charm can turn even an old woman’s legs to jelly. Nobody laughed back, I just raised some looks of disbelief. I sneaked off to the cookbook department, where I probably belong to, but on my way home, I couldn´t stop thinking about the Twilight phenomenon.

I spent the evening googling facts about the Twilight saga and after reading a lot of sarcastic reviews, I feel the necessity to protect Stephenie’s opus. (if you are a real fan of Twilight, no need to read further.)

First of all, I would like to state the following:

I have been reading all my life, average several books per week; my very favorite author is T.C. Boyle, a genius juggling with words (O.K., at least when you are willing to delete his last books; here I have to highly recommend my very favorite one, “Budding Prospects”).

On my top ten romantic movies list you will find:

1.”Piano” by Jane Campion;
2. “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austin (the one with Keira Knightley as Lizzy);
3. “Breaking the waves” by Lars von Trier.

And now the question, why the hell did I spent several nights without sleep (I love my sleep, believe me) reading the Twilight saga after having seen the first part on TV, till this time completely unaware of the Twilight hysteria.

And be sure, the stylistic level of all four parts often drove me crazy and no, I’m not a fan of the virgin marriage and yes, I wish Edward would  have shown a bit more passion about sex and a bit less about fast car driving (no, that is not true, that was sexy). Maybe Edward’s sexual restraint has a special appeal through the first three parts, but wedding night and following definitely misses some more details. Of course this can´t be charged to poor Edward, but the prudery of Stephenie Meyer.

I think, Stephenie had a great idea (dream) and I wish somebody more experienced would have given her a helping hand with the composition, so nobody had to creep bashfully through the corridors of the library on the look-out for her books. But hey, as I know, she didn’t attend a creative writing course at an honorable university, nor does she aim for the standards to win the Nobel price for literature. She just wanted to entertain. And that is what she managed to do very successfully (over 50.000.000 millions sells), didn’t she?

Nobody ever became exasperated with the lack of realism in the fairy tale world: do you mind the prince in Snow White being a necrophile kissing a dead body? Or Sleeping Beauty? Wouldn’t she have to be a mummy (in the best case) or a pile of bones ( in the worst one) after waiting 100 years for the liberating kiss?

See. This is what dreams are made of. A romantic, everlasting love overcoming all trouble.
And this is Stephenie Meyer’s gift to all inveterate  romantic girls or adult women who didn’t forget the wild joy of a passionate kiss or are still waiting for the first one (the selling numbers prove that there are a lot of them out in the world) .

Honestly, would you prefer a magical life on the side of a charming, great looking, rich, sparking, compelling vampire, who would die for you (if the circumstances would just let him) or the everyday life with an ordinary mortal man snoring the whole night long, getting a bald patch and a beer belly and the necessity to get up every morning to offer you a mid-terrace house?
If there is somebody who choose the second option, please stand up and shout (the winning price for your realism will be a special feature with your photo on my blog).

Obviously Twilight hasn’t been written for male readers and my husband starts to feel sick when he just sees Edward Cullen face, but I wish, a few men would take their time to ask themselves why so many women feel addicted to an apparently simple love story.

PS. Excuse me now, I have to go to bed to wake up in the morning next to my snoring husband. He has to get up early to earn the money for our credits.

PSS: He is snoring ways too loud to sleep. I will have to turn on the DVD-player and spend another night in the arms of Edward Cullen (oops, are these the first signs of schizophrenia?)

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